Several months ago I decided to make 2015 "the year of Anna," and yes, I realize how cheesy that sounds. I decided to make adult decisions, live intentionally, and experience things.
While I would never, ever, ever regret my decision to get married or have children when I did, I also realize that I fell into the common trap of pushing the pause button on my own life. I was consumed with being a wife, mom, and household management specialist. I got lazy. I stopped trying new things, being spontaneous, or stepping outside of my comfort zone. It wasn't fair to my kids or my ex, and it certainly wasn't fair to me.
In the spirit of my undying love of lists, I have begun an inventory of things I want to work on, or experience, this coming year:
- Morning pages
- Run another half marathon
- Decide once and for all if I like sushi
- Learn to play chess (poorly is both sufficient and most likely)
- Take snowboarding lessons
- Go on a road trip by myself (perhaps the scariest item on this list)
- Hike the Zion Narrows
I am sorry to read about the big D. It is the one thing I would never wish it on anyone because it seems no matter how amicable you try to be, well, doesn't always go as planned.(i hope yours is better than most)
ReplyDeleteYour post today is so relate able to my life right now. Sadly I have been there once before and now after 10 years, I am going through this lovely process again. Like you, I vowed last January, that it would be the start of "the year of me" I underwent some serious transformations both physically, mentally and emotionally and sadly him and I were no longer on the same page. It is both a wonderful and sad experience all at the same time when you realize just how much as a wife and mother that you do and when you seem to deviate from your everyday life just a little bit, it tends to make waves.
The biggest thing I've learned lately is that it is okay to want to do things for myself and in doing so, it doesn't make you selfish, it only means you are human. I have also realized just how much my girlfriends/sisters mean to me...to have support from people that know and love you best, will definitely help through the tough days.
Like you, I too have a list and taking a solo trip has been on the top of it because to me that is the scariest one also. It's like finally being a "big girl"!
Best of luck to you as you enter into this new part of life!
Tiffany
I wholeheartedly agree with your sentiment about doing things for yourself. We are only given one life, we need to live it! I'm sorry you're also going through a divorce, it's not fun. I wish you good luck, though... any idea where your solo trip will be??
DeleteMy first trip will be small (baby steps ya know) I live in Las Vegas, so to California I will go! Something about sitting on the beach alone with myself just sounds way too good right about now.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately yes, I got divorced from my first husband of 23 years about 20 years ago....while that seems a lifetime ago, it leaves a footprint on your life that changes you. Luckily for me, although I didn't believe it at the time, the change for me was the best thing ever. I also worked for a domestic relations attorney and judge, so I saw it all the time at work. After what seemed a lifetime of pain, I finally recovered enough to discover how much I really LIKED myself and began moving forward. Although I didn't date anyone for 7 years, I met my now husband and we'll be married 12 years this year. Oh, did I mention he's 12 years younger than me?!?! Anyway, I now have the life I never would have had with my first husband. Just remember there is light at the end of the tunnel...I hope you can remember that in your darkest days. Good luck to you!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Judy!
DeleteSending nothing but love for you. Cannot wait to see what "The Year of Anna" brings. Sounds pretty amazing! ��
ReplyDeleteAw, Miss Erica. Love to you, too. xo
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