Stronger Together: How Moms Can Overcome the Fear of Seeking Help

As a mom, it can be challenging to admit you need help. However, asking for help is crucial to maintaining a healthy balance in your life and being the best parent you can be. 

This article will explore why moms struggle to ask for help, how to recognize and overcome this fear, and practical strategies for building your support network.

Key Takeaways

  • Recognize and overcome the fear of asking for help by identifying emotions, physical symptoms, and negative thought patterns.
  • Debunk the “Supermom” myth and shift your mindset to embrace vulnerability and view asking for help as a strength.
  • Build your support network by connecting with family, friends, mom groups, online communities, and seeking professional help when needed.
  • Develop strategies for asking for help, including effective communication techniques and setting boundaries, to enhance your well-being and parenting skills.

Recognizing the Fear of Asking for Help

Identifying the Signs

If you’re unsure whether you have a fear of asking for help, pay attention to these common indicators.


It’s normal to feel a mix of emotions when you’re thinking about asking for help. You might feel anxious about how others will react, embarrassed that you can’t handle everything on your own, or even ashamed that you need assistance. 

Remember, these emotions are common, but they don’t define your worth as a mom or a person. It’s important to acknowledge and accept these feelings, but don’t let them hold you back from seeking the support you need.

Physical Symptoms

Sometimes, the fear of asking for help can manifest in physical symptoms. You might notice your heart racing, your breath becoming shallow, or even feeling a bit shaky or sweaty. These are your body’s natural responses to stress and anxiety. 

When you notice these symptoms, take a moment to practice deep breathing or other relaxation techniques. This can help calm your body and mind, making it easier to overcome your fear and ask for help.

Negative Thought Patterns

Negative thought patterns can be a significant barrier to asking for help. You might find yourself thinking things like, “I should be able to handle this on my own,” or “People will judge me if I ask for help.” These thoughts can be incredibly damaging to your self-esteem and make it even more difficult to seek support. 

To combat these negative thought patterns, try using positive affirmations, reminding yourself of your accomplishments, and focusing on the benefits of asking for help. Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness, and everyone needs support at times.

Understanding the Root Causes

Some reasons moms may be hesitant to ask for help include:

  • Societal expectations and the “Supermom” myth
  • Fear of judgment or being seen as weak
  • Past experiences of rejection or criticism

Breaking the Stigma Around Asking for Help

Debunking the “Supermom” Myth

The “perfect mom” idea is unrealistic and sets moms up for failure. Instead, recognize and accept your imperfections, practice self-compassion, and remind yourself that every mom has her own unique strengths and weaknesses.

Shifting Your Mindset

Embrace vulnerability and understand that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness. Recognize the benefits of a support network, such as shared problem-solving, emotional support, and camaraderie.

Building Your Support Network

Family and Friends

Identify people in your life who can provide support, and approach conversations about needing help with honesty and openness.

Mom Groups and Online Communities

Find local mom groups and online forums to connect with others who share similar experiences. These communities can offer valuable advice, encouragement, and friendship.

Professional Help

Know when to seek professional help, such as therapy, parenting classes, or specialized support for specific challenges. Research options and find the right professional for your needs.

Read: Creating a Support Network for Moms

Strategies for Asking for Help

Identifying Your Needs

Recognize what type of help you need, and create a list of specific tasks or support you require.

Effective Communication Techniques

Use assertive communication, frame your requests positively, and avoid apologies or justifications when asking for help.

Setting Boundaries

Establish your limits, respect others’ boundaries, and balance independence with the need for support.

Overcoming Common Barriers to Asking for Help

Managing Guilt and Shame

Understand that feeling guilty or ashamed for asking for help is common but unnecessary. Instead, use self-compassion and positive affirmations to overcome these emotions.

Dealing with Rejection

If someone says “no” to your request, maintain your self-esteem and resilience by focusing on your worth and the value of your support network.

The Benefits of Asking for Help

Improved Mental Health

Asking for help can reduce stress and anxiety, leading to better overall well-being.

Increased Efficiency and Time Management

Delegating tasks frees up time for self-care and family activities, and helps prevent burnout.

Enhanced Parenting Skills

Seeking support can improve your ability to parent by learning from others’ experiences and expertise.


Overcoming the fear of asking for help is essential for both your well-being and your family’s happiness. Remember, seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness, and your support network can be a valuable resource in your parenting journey.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs):

1. How can I tell if I need help, or if I’m just being lazy? Evaluate your feelings and needs honestly. If you’re overwhelmed, stressed, or struggling to manage your responsibilities, it’s likely that you genuinely need help.

2. What if my partner doesn’t understand my need for help? Have an open and honest conversation with your partner, explaining your feelings and the support you need. Encourage them to share their thoughts as well, and work together to find solutions that benefit both of you.

3. How can I ask for help without burdening others? Be specific about the help you need and consider the other person’s availability and comfort level. Then, offer to reciprocate support when they need it, fostering a mutual exchange of help.

4. What if I don’t have a support network nearby? Explore online communities and forums to connect with others in similar situations. Also, consider contacting local community organizations or support groups that can assist.

5. Can I be a good mom even if I ask for help? Absolutely! Asking for help is a sign of strength and self-awareness, demonstrating your dedication to being your best mom. Remember, no one is perfect, and seeking support is a natural part.